Graham's 2011 Vintage Port Offer

“The best 2011 reds anywhere” – Jancis Robinson, May 2013

That’s a pretty bold claim to make – the best red wines made in the world in 2011 – but the praise for 2011 Vintage Port has been unanimous.

And when you consider the rather higher prices for most of Bordeaux, Burgundy, Barolo, California and iconic Australians, Port offers exceptional quality for the price. Admittedly it’s not a regular feature on most people’s shopping list, but when a vintage like 2011 comes along, it’s literally a chance in a lifetime to acquire something really special.

A few weeks back we ordered some mixed cases of 2011 Vintage Ports for our own stocks – so impressed were we by the reports - but out of the UK.

Now we have been able to put together an offer that brings one of the very top and most highly rated wines, Graham's Vintage Port 2011, directly to Ireland. And at less than what we paid from the UK! We are really excited about being able to offer it. Take a look at some of the amazing reviews:

Graham's Vintage Port 2011 Reviews

There are just 5,000 cases of Grahams 2011 declared. This will be very, very special in the years to come. If there is one 2011 vintage wine you treat yourself to from anywhere in the world, this should be it. For a birth year, an anniversary, a treat, a gift…..and you have the option of half bottles.

Grahams 2011 Vintage Port @ €285 ex. Vat per 6 x 75cl bottle wooden case
Grahams 2011 Vintage Port @ €295 ex. Vat per 12 x 37.5cl bottle wooden case

The price includes all Excise Duty, Shipping and delivery to you in October this year. Stocks are limited and all orders are subject to confirmation

Anyone up for a Fight...?

OK, I have to get this out of my system….

I have had a pile of paper sitting on the ground by my desk for the past few months. Since December 2012 actually, dating back to a flurry of post-budget activity when the Irish wine trade was walloped over the head by the huge increase in Excise Duty.

I’m wary of raising the whole “whining” issue again and to be honest I couldn’t care less about the repetitive arguments as to whether or not an affluent middle class person can or cannot afford to do without a bottle of wine now. Nor is it about the vague excuse of tackling alcohol abuse that was given as justification for the rise – that was a smokescreen, and our dangerous relationship with alcohol excesses of all forms will not be solved by simple tax increases. Nor is it a rant about the continuing failure to legislate to ban below cost selling of alcohol – alcohol abuse, hello?

This is purely about the Excise treatment of Wine, relative to other forms of alcohol. And it’s very interesting – and surprising. It’s also long – but please persevere…..

We all know that Minister Noonan stated that the Excise increases on alcohol in the last budget would bring in a projected additional €180 million in tax revenues in 2013. But wine took the biggest hit, so how much would it be expected to contribute to that €180 million target?

There’s a Unit within the Department of Finance called the Tax Policy Unit that produces, among other things, a “briefing” document each year on General Excise Duties in advance of the Budget. It may have been abolished, since I can’t find the document for December 2012’s budget. But since Excise rates didn’t increase in December 2011, it can be taken that the assumptions were the same for 2012. The document simulated a number of possible Excise increases and the benefit in terms of additional taxation revenue, including 10 cents on a Pint of Beer and €1.00 on a bottle of wine. Fast forward a year and, hey presto, Minister Noonan acted on the scenarios and we can see that his €180 million will come from:

10 cents on beer brings €73 million

10 cents on cider brings €10.2 million

10 cents on spirits brings €38.2 million

€1.00 on a bottle of wine brings €65.48 million

We’ll come back to these figures and their projected impact on the market later….I believe they will come back to haunt Minister Noonan

You can read the whole document here: Tax Policy Unit

There are a couple of other really interesting things in it. Firstly – and this really surprised me – on page 10, there’s a section called “Cost of Alignment of Irish Excise with UK Rates”. Bear in mind this was before either Irish or UK Excise changed, i.e. pre-December 2012. The figures show that Minister Noonan would have achieved a GAIN of €92 million by bringing our Excise into line with the North. That’s over 50% of what he was looking for.
 

Why did he not do this? Well, my guess is because it would have involved increasing Excise on beer by a greater amount – and we all know that wine is just consumed by middle-class yuppies who can take the hit. Oh yeah, and there’s a pretty strong beer lobby, and one or two pub-owning politicians. Any TD’s that own wine shops? Thought not.

But away from gross generalisations about class (not that our Minister would make such a mistake of course), there’s an even more interesting nugget. Page 11 deals with the normally mind-numbing topic of “Issues at EU Level”….

42: “The EU Commission challenged Ireland some years ago about what it considered an unacceptably favourable treatment of beer (a largely domestic product) as opposed to wine (a largely imported product).”

43: “The Commission has been unsuccessful in an ECJ case against Sweden on this issue and the matter has not been pursued with Ireland. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.”

No, that’s not my keyboard going wonky – that’s the bit that the Department of Finance don’t want any of us to read about the why, how, what and when of the whole little nasty business of some EU heavies putting pressure on Ireland about Excise rates on Wine. What could be in there that is deemed unsuitable for us to see?

 

So I went looking on the Internet…..

Firstly, here’s the Summary Judgement of April 8^th 2008 in relation to the case the European Court of Justice took against Sweden for this alleged discrimination against wine in favour of beer.

European Court of Justice Summary Judgement

The ECJ lost. But why? And why are the Irish officials so worried?

Here’s the full judgement: European Court of Justice Full Judgement

As with everything that people don’t want you to see – it could have some very interesting ramifications in light of the recent increases in Ireland. But back to 2008 first – why were the EJC unsuccessful in their action against Sweden? The court decided that:

A national taxation system which taxes wine, which is mainly imported from other Member States, more heavily than beer, which is mainly a domestic product, and which is based on the taxation of the percentage of alcohol by volume of the wine and the beer, does not appear to have the effect of affording indirect protection to national beer and therefore is not incompatible with the second paragraph of Article 95 of the Treaty (now, after amendment, the second paragraph of Article 90 EC) since, on the one hand, the difference between the price of strong beer and the price of wine in the intermediate category, in competition with that beer, is such that the difference in the tax treatment of those two products is not liable to influence consumer behavior in the sector concerned and, on the other, it is not shown by the statistical information regarding sales of the products in question that there is an actual protective effect.

I recommend you read the full document – it’s fascinating – but at the end of the day, it seems to boil down to two things:
a) Increases in Excise on Wine didn’t seem to encourage people to switch to beer

b) Sales of wine apparently didn’t suffer

 

But that’s a big simplification – you need to read the document as there are fascinating parts that are unique to the Swedish market that would/could be interpreted totally differently in the context of the Irish market.

 

So before we all become middle-class wine drinking yuppies who are also amateur lawyers, let’s get a few facts regarding the Irish situation out of the way:

 

Historical Excise treatment – prior to December 2012:

• Excise on Beer remained the same from 1994 to 2010, when it decreased by about 20%
• Excise Duty on Wine was increased by 50 cents a bottle in October 2008, but was then reduced by 20% in 2010.

Excise Receipts – from 2001 to 2010:

• Excise receipts to the Exchequer from beer fell by 27.4%
• Excise receipts to the Exchequer from Wine increased by 95.2% over the same 10 year period

 

Consumption – from 1994 to 2011:

• Consumption of beer is some 20,000,000 litres annually, much the same as it was in 1994 – but it rose and subsequently fell in the intervening period.
• Consumption of Wine has increased from about 51,000,000 litres per annum in 1994 to 87,000,000 litres annually.

 

Relative Taxation:

So much for “pure” headline figures. What about how the Government taxes the two alcohol products in a relative way – how much does the Government get per litre, per % of alcohol?

 

Pre-Budget December 2012

• Still Wine Excise brought in €0.2098 per litre, per % of alcohol (12.5%)
• Beer Excise brought in €0.1571 per litre, per % of alcohol (4.2%)

So wine was proportionally considerably higher, with 5.27 cents difference between the two

 

Post-Budget December 2012

• Still Wine Excise now brings in €0.2965 per litre, per % of alcohol (12.5%)
• Beer Excise now brings in €0.1913 per litre, per % of alcohol (4.2%)

So wine is again higher, and the gap has grown to 10.52 cents difference between the two since the Budget. That’s a 100% increase in the gap.

 

Evolution of Real Values - % of retail value:

This is the nub of the issue – it all comes down to what the consumer pays at the end of the day, and the tax treatment of that price.

 

Pre-Budget December 2012:

• The Excise on Beer accounted for 9.4% of the total price to the consumer
• The Excise on Wine accounted for 21.3% of the total price to the consumer

Post-Budget December 2012:

• The Excise on Beer now accounts for 10.9% of the total price to the consumer
• The Excise on Wine now accounts for 27.8% of the total price to the consumer – a proportionally much greater increase.

 

So the Department of Finance and Minister Noonan may have been comfortable running the risk of European Court of Justice ire in the past – and happily blanking out bits of interesting information from public documents, but the question is have they now distorted the relationship between the excise on Beer and Wine enough to warrant some interest from the ECJ?

A couple of thoughts spring to mind, that might be of interest to the ECJ:

a)      The Government had the opportunity to equalise Excise rates with the North and GAIN €93 million, but it would have involved raising Excise on beer. Instead they chose to favour/protect beer and increase Excise on wine instead.

b)      If wine sales fall due to the Excise increase, and beer remains steady, it would seem to me that it could be shown that the Government imposed an unfair increase on Wine relative to Beer.

One final thought. You might think that the Government are crazy thinking they are going to get that extra €65.8 million from the increase in Wine Excise – after all, all of us middle-class wine drinking yuppies are pretty strapped at the moment.

Well, they know that already. In 2011 they got €230 million in Excise revenue from about 87 million litres of wine sold.

In 2013, to get their €298 million, they only need us to sell 80 million litres of the stuff – that’s a 10% reduction in sales planned for your, mine and everyone’s wines sales this year, courtesy of the Government.

Market distortion? Unfair discrimination?

You decide…

April Bin End Sale

Ok - it's Spring Sale time!

A bit later than in previous years.... but an early Easter and a very busy period on the road with restaurant and hotel customers has kept us very busy. We have also been off tasting with Producers and finding some exciting new stuff that will appear in the coming weeks. But in the meantime we need to say goodbye to a few old friends.

To me, a Sale should be an opportunity to try and few excellent things at a knockdown price. Maybe some wines that, for whatever reason, didn't get the attention they deserved at the time. Maybe there are some bottles we squirreled away thinking we'd get around to drinking them ourselves, and we never did. Maybe there are some that just need a little nudge and a few words of encouragement to get you to try them. But there are no duds - no wines that we wouldn't happily drink ourselves. We could have done an across-the-board discount on everything, but we prefer to offer a bigger discount on those wines that we think should be enjoyed.

What did surprise me when I went to compile the List is that we still had the odd bottle from last year's Sale! Why? These wines are good!

So what's worthy of particular attention - you can download the List here: April 2013 Bin End Sale

Bordeaux:
There are so many options for Bind Ends with Bordeaux. Cases open here and there as we are often asked to supply individual bottles.But you'll notice that we have stuck to outstanding vintages from highly regarded producers. With the exception of the VCC 2000, all are approachable now and are priced to be consumed and enjoyed.

Burgundy:
Again, a toss-up between finding some big guns and some everyday drinking bargains. The Guillot-Broux Macon Cruzille at just €12.00 is a lovely crunchy Gamay from the Macon - perfect for a medium-bodied red on a warm day. There's some Mugneret Bourgogne at a knock-down price, and even a 2005 vintage 1er Cru from Jadot in there at €35.

Rhone Valley:
Last time we had a good few Rhônes, many of which have now gone, but we found a few bottles of the Bressy Gourt de Mautens in the cellar - well worth a try.

Loire Valley:
These surprised me - we still have some Baudry Chinons from the Sale last year. What do we need to do to convince people about the merits of mature Cabernet Franc from one of France's leading producers? Maybe line it up against a Bordeaux at 10 times the price and see which comes out favourite?

Italy:
Italy is all about diversity, and no matter what we put into the Sale, there will always be something else that someone wanted us to include! North to South, there should hopefully be something of interest to you.

Australia:
Again, slimmed down a bit, but if you want one of the most ethereal wines in the world, the Hill of Grace 1990 is your bottle. One of my epiphany wines.

Austria:
Roland Velich of Moric (stunning Blaufrankisch) also makes a bit of white - well, probably one of the best Gruner Veltliners around (many compare it to a rich Chablis Grand Cru), but as we have discovered to our frustration, not many are willing to pay €49 for a Gruner Veltliner. Ok, we should have seen that coming, but maybe at €25 the temptation will be more difficult to resist.

Germany:
We love Germany at the moment. So much so that we have all sorts of different cuvees from different producers in the warehouse. Classic kids in a sweet shop stuff. But we have to focus... and consequently there are some great bargains, but limited volumes. The Becker Pinot is the bigger brother/sister of the award-winning regular cuvee and the two Kunstler dry Rieslings really are stunning - and even more so at the Sale price.

New Zealand:
I have a bit of a problem with NZ Sauvignon Blanc at the moment. A lot of it has gone all tropical and sweet. That's why I was really surprised the Greenhough didn't sell better - it's a classic dry, citrus Sauvignon - much closer to a lovely Loire Sauvignon with ripe acidity. Thirst-quenching would be an appropriate descriptor. At €12 it's one to buy in volume and stash away for a BBQ or picnic, or tomorrow night....!

There are very few terms and conditions, but we'd better get them out of the way anyway:
- Everything is offered subject to availability. When it's gone, it's gone.
- All prices include Vat
- The Sales ends on Friday 19th April
- Orders over €200 will be delivered anywhere in Ireland for free. Under that value, delivery is €10.50 per case of 12 bottles
- If you can reply with your requests by email if possible it would be great.

That's it - Happy Hunting.

Smash and Grab......

That yesterday’s increase in Excise Duty on wine is catastrophic for the Irish wine trade in Ireland is without doubt. Never has it been so clear that wine importers and independent wine retailers in Ireland need a lobby group.

An increase of just 10 cents on a pint of beer (anyone else find it weird that the Government still operates on Imperial measures for beer?) and nothing on spirits is a credit to the lobbying power of the VFI - and presumably both NOFFLA and DIGI (whoever they claim to represent?)

An almost 50% increase in Excise Duty on wine to a staggering €2.78 a bottle (and double for bubbly) says it all. A lonely letter published in the Irish Times on Tuesday (My Letter to the Irish Times) isn’t going to change much….

Who was that again who represents the interests of the Wine Trade here? Oh yeah, no-one. It was obviously just too easy a target for the Government.

It’s an absolute certainty that jobs will be lost in importers, independent retailers and also in hotels and restaurants as all these groups struggle with falling sales and reduced margins as we desperately try to remain competitive (no chance) against the lure of the North and the larger supermarkets who can afford to continue to discount whilst taking profits in other areas of their retail offering. There are a couple of brave people talking about no price rises, but bravery should be confused with stupidity and there’s a fine line between the two. Sales will fall and prices will inevitably go up.

And why did they not ban below-cost selling of all alcohol? That would have protected jobs. Because the Government makes the same amount of Excise Duty per bottle of wine irrespective of what price it is sold at. The Excise is levied as the wine leaves the warehouse, long before it hits the shop floor. So in a bizarre way, the Government benefits from the below cost selling of alcohol as they actually get more revenue from increased promotional sales. Just don’t tell that to the Health service or anyone who is a victim of alcohol abuse.

But there may be a bigger conspiracy…. admittedly far fetched, but bear with me…Excise is levied as the wine leaves the warehouse, or more correctly as it’s taken off the computer system in the warehouse and it can then technically be put into a “Duty Paid” area. It is not levied on the sale of a bottle in a shop. At the end of each month, the Revenue take by direct debit the Excise bill an importer/wholesaler has run up. This is guaranteed money to the Revenue as we all also have to have Bank Guarantees in place to ensure Revenue get paid irrespective of what happens.

Last night, prior to the midnight deadline, there were tens of millions of Euro worth of Excise charges (not wine, just Excise) incurred as importers shifted wine out of "Under Bond" status to avail of the old Excise Rate before it rose. (As an aside, it will be interesting to see what happens this – some importers may hold their prices at the old rates, or some may charge the new rates whilst having benefitted by being charged the old rates by Revenue – it’s a tempting option as every 100 cases sold nets them an extra €1,000.)

But that’s just a diversion, albeit an interesting one. The real story is that up to €50M in Excise is guaranteed to flow to the Revenue at the end of January (when the December bills are paid) from importers who did this. On top of this is Vat @ 23% on the value of the wine taken out of Bond. That also goes to Revenue at the end of January.

So there’s a pretty nice pot of maybe up to €100M coming the way of the Revenue within 60 days. In the meantime, the Government could get – and wholly deservedly so – an unprecedented attack on the unjust, unfair and discriminatory rise and realise the error of its ways – as jobs really are at stake.

The Finance Bill (which in effect “legalises” many of the Budget decisions) is published every February and in this they could then decide to reverse the misguided Excise increase. Then we’re all back to normal – but the Government has just pocketed a quick €100M by pulling a stroke on us all.

Smash and Grab……? Stranger things have happened….

Picked - Finally....

Picnic on the boat!

A quick trip over to Slovenia by Sinead recently to check the wines reminded me that I hadn’t actually finished relating what happened all the way back at Harvest time. After Sinead’s frustration (see here Definitely Not Picking Time!), I headed out full of expectation at the end of September.

On arrival, there was a very mixed situation…

Sipon that ruptured and rotted following rain

Deceptive - actually sunburnt with upripe acidity

The Sipon, to use a great Irish phrase, was knackered – banjaxed and beyond saving. Possibly inspired by Sinead and her filthy language, another great phrase was born: in short, “the Sipon was a complete catastrofuck.”

More rot......

Thsi is what we managed to salvage

 

The Modra Fankinja on the other hand, was a thing of beauty.

Nice open bunches of ripe Modra Frankinja

Mmmmmm

Sugar levels were perfect, no sunburn, acidities tasted good, pips were ripe and just crunchy with no bitterness – and nothing was overripe – the grapes tasted fresh and ready to go. Picking was effortless and before we knew it we had everything in one of our new wood fermenters.

De-stemming in the cool night air

All ready for fermentation...

The plan was to keep the must at a lowish temperature for a couple of days and then to allow a natural fermentation to start. Our low-tech approach involved re-filling plastic water containers and freezing them. But as any First Year Science student will tell you, ice floats (how did we manage to forget that), so actually getting the cold distributed throughout the vat was a little more difficult. Plus, we didn’t want to mix things up too much to “force” extraction. Anyway, they seemed to do the job and after two days we took out the ice and fermentation began naturally pretty quickly – I think it may even have begun down in the depths of the vat prior to that.

Over the coming days we kept any punchdowns to a minimum (where you break up the “cap” of skins and pulp that forms at the top and push it back down) and got used to just touching it regularly to check it was still damp and also taking a good sniff – although this was pretty much guaranteed to lead to a sharp intake of CO2 up the nose – try it – you won’t forget it quickly!

One mildly “controversial” idea we did go through with was to chaptalise the wine – adding sugar – to add the equivalent of a half degree of alcohol – bringing it up to an estimated 12.5%. There are plenty of things you can add to wine – and at various stages – but of them all, sugar is the least intrusive. It is entirely and very simply converted to alcohol by the yeasts, it adds no actual sweetness. Of course, unscrupulous winemakers add tonnes of it to unripe grapes to bring up the alcohol level, but we wanted to try for a totally different reason. Over the years we have come across numerous winemakers who deliberately add a SMALL bit every vintage as they believe it adds an extra “x-factor” to the flavour and mouthfeel of their red wines. Marie-Andrée Mugneret vividly describes remembering as a child the smell of the sugar being stirred into the already fermenting vats.

The interesting thing is that when I went to research what to do, it transpired there’s not very much written about it all! Of course, there’s plenty about chaptalisation in general – but on a high volume scale – and even then, very little guidance as to how the sugar is actually added: is it dissolved, or just poured in? And all at once, or over a few days? Away from how you actually do it, the boring bits are that approximately 17 grams if sugar per litre will increase the alcohol by 1% - and that you can dissolve 2kg of sugar in 1 litre of water. So it was out with the weighing scales and pots and pans.

Just think.. if you're a huge winery with 1,000,000 litres a year and you want to bring everything up by 1% alcohol, you need 17 Tons of sugar!

As I added the syrup into the open fermenter later that night, I managed to convince myself that I was totally mad, and almost chickened out – but in it went…!

Over the next few days as fermentation continued, we kept punchdowns to a minimum as we were happy with the extraction already achieved. In fact, over the whole fermentation period we only punched down three times. Total maceration time from harvest to press was 21 days.

And the result tastes fantastic! Meanwhile the poor old Sipon was limping along through fermentation, and beginning to smell of mushrooms. Trust me, that is not a good smell to have in your wine! There are of course all sorts of chemicals you can use to strip out these odours/tastes – but they tend to strip out most of everything else as well, so we’re destined for a rather unusual, but small volume, mushroomy Sipon…

But that Modra Frankinja – now that makes us happy!



Still the most beautiful view from a Wine Press anywhere - sunrise from Miro's cellar



Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics...

There’s plenty of chat around about what might happen in next week’s budget. In fact, most of us are pretty much fed up with hearing about it. Plenty of things have been well flagged, including a likely increase in Excise Duty. Much like our attitude to the whole austerity fog that we are all lost in, we seem to accept these impending changes with little more than a benign resignation.

So for example, instead of jumping up and down about key issues like below cost selling of alcohol (how difficult can that actually be to introduce?), we’re all expecting an increase in Excise Duty next week of around 50 cents per bottle with a “well, it could be worse attitude”. Sorry, but how much worse?

I’ve heard of politicians “kite flying” ideas by leaking crazy ideas to convenient contacts in the press, and then sitting back to see how a madcap scheme pans out. Well, whoever it was that flew the idea of an Excise increase “only for the retail trade” idea in the weekend papers, please stand up. If there was ever a more ridiculous idea, I have yet to have the pleasure of stumbling across it. This proposal was explained with the assured logic that by not increasing Excise on pub sales, we would project jobs.

Now, I’m not an economist or statistician – but I do know where we wholesale our wines. And let’s see… that would include both pubs and retailers. So along with re-printing all our price lists, incurring the wrath of all our customers, endless whinging about how we can’t take it any more and so on, we’re now also going to have two different invoice systems. And as for our Bond, I pity them trying to determine if Bould Betty’s is a pub, bistro or lap dancing club when they release the wine from Bond and allocate the Excise Duty.

Seriously – whoever thought of that idea should quietly slip out that back door of Government buildings and think of a new career…..

So what about the statistics? Well, rather conveniently, the boffins at the Wine Institute in California have been checking bottle banks all over the world and have just published the latest world rankings for wine consumption. And not just for 2010, but very interestingly for the past three years. So from our Celtic Tiger peak in 2007 to the rather more austere days of 2010, you’ll note that wine consumption in Ireland has dropped by 8.3% to 16.89 litres per annum per head. Not a catastrophic drop – but not exactly a growing market ripe for an increase in tax.

More interesting is the drop from 2007 to 2008 – a whopping 25% drop. I don’t have the burning passion to go back over previous Budgets, but I’d guess that those figures overlap with the catastrophic rise in Excise Duty some years back that coincided with us all rushing up North to buy all our drink. If sales fell here, you can be sure the tax take fell too – and funnily enough, that Excise hike was subsequently reversed.

So in a market of falling sales, what makes best sense – increase the price of the product (when it’s still going to be available for less close by), or decrease/hold the price?

Ummmm…….?

Aside from my rant, there are some great figures in the report. How about the fact that those in the Vatican City consume more wine per head than ANYWHERE in the world – a whopping 70 litres per head in 2009? That’s almost 5 times what we drink!

And Kuwait, where it looks (surprisingly) like the average is about a glass of wine per person, per year, managed to register an increase of 389%!

You can see the complete list here: Per Capita Wine Consumption by Country

Definitely Not Picking Time - F**k it

Sinead here, making my annual appearance on the blog. I was close to giving it a miss this year since I didn't get to harvest our grapes or start the process of managing fermentation.

After two weeks in Slovenia I boarded the plane back to Ireland feeling like an expectant mother who had been sent home from the delivery ward having presented with false labour. I had learnt much and had great fun being involved in the harvests of others but felt lonely for my ‘baby’. It seemed everyone else had a new arrival in the winery, someone to coo over and nurture. Even Liam’s gentle nudges to blog something, anything, of my thoughts while out there failed to move me towards the keyboard.

Luckily, writer's block took a jolt as the Aerlingus flight left the tarmac and I realised that my harvest blog should take the form of a poem. Inspired by Brian Millar's take on the John Cooper Clarke song 'Bloody Chickentown', (see previous blog). I had the masterpiece done and dusted by the time we landed in Dublin. Avert your eyes Granny...

Am I in labour? Sugar levels are only half the story

Definitely not Picking Time

By Sinead Cabot

The fucking dates were fucking wrong

Miro is a fucking nong

The fucking sugar’s fucking high

The fucking ground was fucking dry

The fucking pips won’t fucking brown

The fucking rain’s now coming down

The fucking Sipon’s fucking split

The fucking Sipon’s fucking shit

The fucking MF’s fucking slow

Pick - fucking yes or fucking no?

Fucking vintage is passing me by

Think I’m gonna fucking cry

Samo fucking hurt his head

I picked his sauvignon instead

Lela was my picking mate

Humming songs that were x-rate

Fucking acid’s fucking low

Acidify – yes? No, fucking NO!

“Fucking milk by fucking March”

(Samo, that’s a little harsh)

Thank you to my Slovene friends

Fun fucking vintage in the end!

With due respect to John Cooper Clarke and Brian Miller. "Evidently Chickentown" is a poem by the English performance poet John Cooper Clarke. The poem uses repeated profanity to convey a sense of futility and exasperation ... - Wikipedia.

MF in the poem is the black grape variety Modra Frankinja, (Austria's Blaufrankish and Hungary's Kekfrankos. Sipon is the Slovene name for the white grape variety, Furmint.

Continuing my journey home I dropped in to Easons at Heuston Station and the first book I saw was “F**k it: The Ultimate Spiritual Way” by John C Parkin. Coincidence? I bought it, of course, and had it finished by the time the train pulled in at Westport. A great read and I felt so much f**king better. You should buy it. Now F**k off!